MOH Duties

Just been selected as the brides maid of honor and have NO clue what your duties are? I am writing this post for you! As a young MOH, I was very confused about my duties until I became part of the wedding world. I was thinking things like,” I don’t have enough money to be the MOH” and “I don’t know the first thing about how to be the perfect MOH”. But the good news is, you don’t have to have tons of money to carry out the duties, all you need to do is pay attention to the brides needs, calm her down if she is freaking out, and communicate with the bridesmaids. To spell it out for you, I listed many of the duties as MOH, but realize, you do NOT have to do all of them. It completely depends on the bride, and every bride is different (which makes this *SO* much fun!)

Pre-wedding:

  • Go shopping! Help shop for the brides dress and the bridesmaid dresses (she will want to see it on to get the full effect of the dress, so wear clothes and shoes that are easy to slip in and out of).
  • Be the leader of the pack! That’s why she picked you. Make sure the bridesmaids have gotten their dresses and their shoes. Make sure they have transportation and lodging settled if they are from out of town. Basically, be sure they pull their weight. Also keep them informed about all of the showers and pre-wedding events. They are NOT expected to go to all of them if they can’t.
  • Attend all pre-wedding events (or at least try as hard as possible).
  • Host/cohost a bridal shower. This one is iffy for me… it isn’t expected. I mean, I was 5 hours away in college when I was MOH and I was, stereotypically, a broke college student. It isn’t cheap to host a shower and it isn’t cheap to travel 10 full hours in one weekend. Like I said, it depends on the bride so try and get a feel for what she is expecting. If your vibes are screaming “Yes she is expecting this”, try and split it between you and the bridesmaids, that way the finances aren’t all on your shoulders. (Brides- remember your girls are paying for their dresses, shoes, travel, and lodging already). Or, you could ask to help at one already scheduled from a family friend. (Need bridal shower game ideas? Find them here!)
  • Plan the bachelorette party! You could make this into a lingerie shower, and I have the BEST bachelorette lingerie game in mind!
  • Be there for the bride! Whether its lending an ear about the same planning worries or the marriage, you are her maid of honor, so be sure and be there for her.
  • Spread the news about where the bride and groom are registered.
  • Get the bride a special gift she will remember forever and give it to her on the day of her wedding, when y’all are getting ready together.

Day of Wedding Duties

  • Make sure all the bridesmaids are on track with getting their hair and makeup done and to the ceremony on time!
  • Bring the 6 emergency items needed when getting ready with the bride and bridesmaids
  • You’re in charge of the grooms ring. Wear it on your thumb, it’s the safest place!
  • Arrange her veil and train before you walk down the aisle and right after she gets to the alter.
  • Hold bride’s bouquet while they exchange their vows.
  • My favorite part: Sign the marriage license as a witness! (the best man will partake in this event)
  • Help direct guests with things such as where the bathrooms are and where to put their gifts.
  • Dance with the best man, other groomsmen, and even the groom (especially if you are a sister to the bride and he is becoming your brother-in-law).
  • Toast the couple (doesn’t matter if you or the best man go first – it’s up to the bride and groom).
  • Keep the bride looking perfect! If this means packing her lipstick/gloss, fixing her hair, or getting rid of smudges because of earlier tears… it’s your job!
  • Help bride change (if she chooses to) to head to the hotel/honeymoon.
  • Make sure you grab all of the stuff (clothes/makeup) she is going to leave after the couples grand exit. And have her bag packed and put into the getaway transportation.

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21 thoughts on “MOH Duties

  1. Signing the marriage license isn’t necessarily going to fall to the MOH and BM, although that does certainly seem like the norm. For my wedding, DH and I had our fathers sign the marriage license as our witnesses. :)

    • Thanks for sharing, Sarah. You are right! The bride and groom can choose whoever to sign the license. I am just giving a general idea of what duties I have witnessed the MOH fulfill. It all depends on what the bride and groom wants, and everyone is different! Thanks for your input!

  2. Great post- and really informative to me, as the bride. My MOH hasn’t been really there for too much, and has no interest in virtually any part of the wedding. I thought that was the norm- it gives me at least some solace to know that I’m not completely crazy.

  3. Definitely will be using this this upcoming year! My first time, ah! Any tips on the speech? I’m not good with speeches and have no clue where to start!

  4. This would have been helpful for the maid of honor I chose. To make a long story short, she WAS my BFF!!! Needless to say, one year after my wedding we are no longer friends!! I should have taken the title away from her early on during the year of planning but I had high hopes that she would eventually come through for me!! Basically never did and still oblivious of her wrong doings! I will keep this site handy so that I never let anyone down of I become MOH! :)

  5. How soon before the wedding is the bridal shower?? Thanks for all the info, I am in the exact same shoes you were! 5 hours away at college and young MOH to my big sister =)

    • Samantha — A lot of websites say about a month before the wedding, but it can be so hectic during that last month, coming from the bride’s perspective. For this reason, I would say anytime in the 3 months prior to the wedding is absolutely fine. I had a shower 3 months before my wedding and it worked out great, leaving me more time to get things done in that rush right before the big day. Hope this helps, good luck!

  6. What normally happens at a bridal shower. It is a very small and intimate wedding and i am going to talk to the bride, but I don’t think a shower is necessary, but i just wondered what exactly it was.

    • A bridal shower is a smaller, less formal gathering of the bride and her friends, maid of honor, bridesmaids, and other family. It’s usually a place of gift giving if the couple has registered for gifts and a time to talk to the bride or couple about their plans. It’s also a time for games and fellowship amongst friends and family. The wedding itself, no matter how small, will be busy and the couple will be entangled in their newly wedded bliss and will be spending the majority of the time with each other. It’s mostly up to the bride or couple whether they would like a bridal shower or not, but it’s a nice gesture to offer to a bride if you’re the MOH or a close friend.

    • You definitely don’t have to do everything, it’s all just guidelines to follow. Generally, if you’re that young and chosen to be the MOH, the older bridesmaids will step in and cover a lot of these duties, or at least help you with them. Just do what you can! Your sister knows your age and capabilities, and she certainly won’t expect you to do everything yourself.

  7. Also important to remember: The Bride and Groom will be so busy talking to people at the reception that they might forget to get themselves a drink and some food! Try to keep them hydrated/well fed!

  8. I’m a senior in college and was just asked to be my best friend’s MOH! SO EXCITED! Not quite sure when the wedding is but probably next summer. She and her fiance live in Connecticut but I live in New Jersey (where she is from and where her family lives). Any tips on planning the showers and such from a different state? Also – should I have the shower in NJ, CT, or somewhere in between? And when should the shower and bachelorette party be in relation to the wedding?

  9. Reblogged this on the Summer of Yes and commented:
    So my twin sister sent me this link through Pinterest because she got engaged yesterday! Her fiance and I had it all planned out and she definitely didn’t see it coming. I’m excited to walk with her through this big step of her maid of honor and welcome Zach into our family. It will certainly be a change, but it’s going to be a good one. So here’s what I will be up to until July…

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